I was browsing mindlessly on my phone. A habit I hate the most but I frequent plenty. I specifically hate it when I see someone next to me doing it. I suddenly feel worthy to preach about the ugliness of scrolling on the phone. I go on and on about how stupid they look, how disrespectful it is, and how this ugly habit has stripped us of humanity and pushed us one step closer to the world of robots.

But when I do it, I ignore how stupid I look, because I get busy scrolling through random people’s newsfeed and stories. I feel a pain in my neck and pause for a stretch, only to get back to doing this insanely useless thing that takes most of my day.

Anyway, back to the story. As I said, I was browsing shopping sites and saw a pair of shoes I liked. This is when you see me in action. I get all psyched up, calculating and looking for vouchers to help lower down the price. How much would these shoes cost in LBP? is it considered a good bargain? How much will I pay in delivery charges? Any unforeseen taxes? Because last time I had to pay extra charges on clothes delivery, so this time I have to be more careful.

I spent 45 minutes of my time doing thorough research. I put all my detective skills to work. I followed the shoe brand’s channel- DM’ed them, compared their direct delivery prices to the site I found. I was on a high! getting messages and notifications from here and there. The algorithm detected I was on the hunt for shoes ( by the way, I really did not need a new pair of shoes) and started throwing more sites and deals my way. One-click after another, one site to another, and one account following another. The minutes turned into an hour and a half, all while my phone was sending me reminders on jobs deadlines that I kept snoozing. I had more pressing matters- My life depended on that click to finalize the sale.

The shoes, that I did not necessarily love, became the one thing that would make me happy. But more than the shoes, it was the process. Wasting hours doing unnecessary things in search of a glimpse of victory, or a potential story to tell the people who sit next to me and browse mindlessly on their phones.

I pressed on “proceed”, not because I was convinced. I knew I could do better, but my neck was pleading me to get off my phone. The small stretches could no longer help, and so I added the details of the one card that still works and is not veto’ed from abroad.

Confirmation email sent; A huge sigh of relief escaped my mouth in the form of an ear pocking squeak. I wasn’t excited about the shoes, not one bit. I was just happy I was done with the stress of buying the shoes. The anxiety settled, Life was good again.

That same afternoon I went out to throw the trash. I passed by two small neighborhood clothing stores that I never really pay attention to. One of them had redesigned their window. One of the two mannequins was flaunting a flashy sparkly dress, which the shop owner thought would best go with the same shoes I ordered from the UK, and the tag showed a much cheaper price.

And such is life- Calculated choices that leave you with a pair of overpriced shoes, a surge of increased cortisol, and many more hours of neck pain while conducting a hefty phone research on “ways to reduce anxiety levels.”