It was the worst of years, it was the best of years! It was another year. No matter how hard our days can get, we as human beings are blessed with the ability to forget about the bad times and somehow turn the past into exclusive good times. We are also blessed with the ability to forgive and let go, but we rarely practice any of these two. Forgetfulness, on the other hand, is very much welcomed.

I have mixed feelings towards 2015. It was very much bittersweet to me, a a lot happened and pretty much nothing actually happened. Something more took place, I now have more wrinkles on my face, more scars in my heart, more depth in my soul and more mileage in my shoes.

Here are 4 things I learnt this year

1. 30 is not the new 20

No matter how much we try to beautify the fact that we don’t get older we just get stronger, wiser and hotter ;the truth is very much different. We do get older and the sooner we embrace it, the more time we spend enjoying the day rather than worrying about tomorrow. I treated my 30 as my 20 because I thought it was the right thing to do and it was a bad experience. You loose so much on the hope to gain moments of yesterday’s youth and you realize, later on, that living your age is the best you can do for your body, mind and soul. The only “young” you can be is today, don’t waste it on the “young” you think you can be everyday.

2. Be good to you to be good to others

I don’t recall being kind to myself. I try my best to be kind to others, but kindness was something I never really understood. How are we kind? Is kindness a smile? a hug? an attitude?

Kindness is a projection of how we treat ourselves. We are kind when we are good. We are good when we laugh, laugh and laugh more.

We are good when we move, when we dance ( no matter how clumsy we may look), when we run  (my favorite kind of movement).

We are good when we make the hard choice of leaving what makes us laugh little and holding on to what makes us ok. Not what makes us be the happiest, not what makes us feel the sexiest, but what makes us be us. The one thing that allowed me to be me was myself, my best friends and my family, so I am holding on to that.

Being good to oneself is also about repeating good words about us, to us. I have always struggled with body image . I have always felt fat, ugly, no worthy features. The difference is today I add the “no I’m not that” term, which is a good start. No I’m not that fat, No I’m not that ugly and no I don’t have that much ugly features. For the self distorted image of me I have, I am trying to mend my own perception hoping one day I will get to the ultimate conviction of affirming to myself that I am beautiful, I am worthy and I am the best version of me. Baby steps though, baby steps..

3. Run away from and back to your roots

Family is key. It’s all about family. Family is where love is. Lines we read and repeat over coffee and drinks. Truth be told, family can be annoying, it can drive one crazy and it can certainly contribute to one’s recently made famous depression.

Earlier this year, I felt like I couldn’t live another day at home. I was a stranger in the house I grew up in for 30 years and I just knew it was time to move out. An amazing friend with a big heart welcomed me to stay at her place ( 37 minutes away from home) for as much time needed to figure out my next steps. I owe this friend a lot, she is one of the wisest people I know; one of the coolest too. I learnt so much by watching her live her life in the most beautiful way no matter how ugly it got, and trust me it got ugly! She’s truly an endangered species. The species of great minds who live on the lighter side by choice, just because they want to live instead of dwelling on life.

One year later, I missed the noisy annoying home I lived in for 30 years, so I snuck my way back into my old bed, I stuffed my clothes into my little messy closet and I splashed my makeup all over the skinny table. In the middle of the constant yelling on dad for eating too much, my brother for playing too much, my other brother for watching too much TV ( I still have 2 more sisters and one other brother, but they don’t get yelled at often), in the middle of the chaotic home I wanted so much to dissociate from, I found the cure to calm my restless soul.

Sometimes, you need to let go of what does not fit into your system, if you feel lost without it, change your system to fit it back in, because it just might be worth it..Family is worth it!

4. Let it go

This disney song was without a doubt my 2015 song. It’s not a kids song, it’s a serious grown ups song. The lyrics are very empowering and I keep using them when I feel confused and helpless. Check the lyrics and you’ll understand. You might never admit to it through a facebook status but I know you will nod your head in agreement to what I am saying and whenever you’re on the road and see no one around, you will sing it loud and yes, you will feel better about yourself

My favorite part of the song is this:

Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry
Here I stand
And here I’ll stay
Let the storm rage on

I am wrapping up this post without adding a 5th lesson. It’s always about the top 5 and top 10 things to do, to be, to see, to know..

Maybe there were more lessons learnt this year, we can learn a lesson a day if we want to, it depends on whether we’re willing to learn. We learn by listening to the spoken, unspoken and felt words. We learn by allowing to make fools of ourselves and not take us so seriously, we learn by knowing so much and saying so little, we learn by getting hurt and getting back up when life knocks us down.

And finally, we learn by letting go..

So let it go..Let it go..